In recent days I have found myself torn.
Torn between two passions.
Since I was in grade 8, I knew I wanted to be a PE teacher. I remember in grade 10 my PE teacher asked me to teach a dance unit to my class. When I received my report card for that term, there was a kind note inserted praising me for that dance unit. She knew that I had expressed interest in becoming a teacher and she encouraged me to continue on that path.
For as long as I can remember, I have loved to read. My parents never really censored my reading material and I was often reading many levels above grade. At one point, my grade 7 teacher called home to tell my parents that that book I brought for silent reading (Helter Skelter) was inappropriate. Writing too, has been an important outlet for me. Often therapeutic. I have long felt that I express myself far more effectively with the written word than with the spoken word.
When I started out teaching at Stony Plain Central School almost 10 years ago, I would not say I was a leader. I was a part of the supporting cast. Throughout the years many of our school leaders moved on to other projects and jobs in their lives. The baton of athletic leadership was passed on to me. This will be my third year as athletic rep for SPC. Planning tournaments, scheduling practices, fielding questions, ordering clothing and equipment are all parts of this position and some of the true rewards of my job have come from these experiences. I have found that I do have a real passion for this. I want to take even more of a leadership role in my school and in my division in the area of PE and athletic organization.
Teaching grade 8 LA and Social Studies as well as Knowledge and Employability 9 are also huge parts of my job that take up h0urs. In the last few years while I have been learning the ropes of my athletic responsibilities, I have maintained the status quo with my LA and SS classes. I’ve been too overwhelmed with my family and coaching and organizing jobs to work on something new to teach in those classes. This summer I decided I could be stagnant no more. I have made a conscious effort to learn new things and to implement them in my classes. The moderate success I’ve had with that has only led to my becoming more passionate about continuing to learn.
And that is where my passions collide.
Is it possible for me, at this time in my life, to be a leader in both of these areas? Are there enough hours in a day to do it all? I’m not sure right now. I am struggling with the amount of time that these passions are consuming and the possible toll that takes on my family. The obvious answer is to give something up, say “no” to some of the things that are being asked of me. It is not that easy, though. The truth is, I don’t want to give something up. When I think about it, I can’t pick. Continuing to lead in the area I have been passionate about for so long is important to me. Learning new things and engaging with and learning with my students is something I can’t say “no” to.
So where do I go from here?